From Here We Blink The End To Be

all these fiesta's
and
i never meet a memory
but
i remember my dead grandparents
and
are they watching me from above?
hovering just over my shoulders
shaking their heads
hard
or
clapping and cheering me
because they know
this is what it is
to be young
or am i too old to be this young?
to let my heart roll around in pinball blasts cementing my plum color just skin been here for too long or not long enough or never at all a rock n roll liver and i am already in it to swim it all this liquid could fill up the future i leak from the eyes and beg for someone to throw me in the dryer or into the deep...