to Adele...

i click these keys fast
too fast
silverish emotions
abortions
hook into glands
no plans
tricks
beards
demotions
gold
days
i've been thinking about them 
slow
sound
they don't
do anything
my senses  
takes murder to break me from my block
the way i cut the best piece of me off
bobby pins on my night stand
long strands of clogged shower hair
it's the little things
they sprout slow
twisting
forever
forever
f o r e v e r
and then never
i soak my liver
it is a band aid for my body
it does not feel
my heart is gak
jealous of everything
gravestones
talent
looks
never mind
though
ill find something
in these bills: desperation
skittles: diversity
a 24 hour chick-fil-a: hope?

stop
the time of my life
is
who knows
hell
is
stepping stones
its not athletes foot
it is the flames
below
your shoes
cake batter

i saw what i was becoming
in the poems
below
but
this is the top
slow gold
maybe
fast hope
at this point i'd kill again
just to step on anything other than
the tops of hell